![]() If God wanted peaches suspended in midair, he would have filled them with helium.” –Sophia How many junkies have gas and hot flashes?” –Dorothy “How come whenever my ship comes in, it’s leaking?” –Dorothy.“I’m not one to blow my own vertubenflugen.” –Rose.If it were easy, fathers would do it." -Dorothy Blanche: I've never been so humiliated in my life. Dorothy: What about the time you lost the key to your handcuffs and had to go with that guy on his mail route?.“May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off.” –Sophia.She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying." –Dorothy “Oh, blow it out your Tubenburbles!” –Rose. ![]() "I feel like crawling under the covers and eating a box of Velveeta." -Rose.Rose: Where are you going? Dorothy: To get ice cream or commit a felony."Want a glass of water to wash down your foot?" -Sophia.She just doesn't like to show it." -Dorothy And so are you in anything backless." -Sophia ![]() "Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy."No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You're old, you sag, get over it." -Sophia."Have I given you any indication that I care?" -Sophia.Dorothy: You know what your trouble is? Blanche: Of course not."No! No, I will not have a nice day!" -Dorothy.Dorothy: Okay, I'm positive you're lying. Dorothy: Ma, I have a feeling you're lying.“Stanley, you’re one chromosome away from being a potato.” –Dorothy."Rose, honey…have you been washing the fruit off before you eat it?" –Dorothy."I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste." –Sophia.It’s not my fault my cousins have been marrying each other for generations.” –Rose But honey, if you don’t take a chance, nothing happens.” –Dorothy “The bottom line is, in life, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen.“You know what they say: You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he’ll die.” –Rose.I thought since you look like Yoda you were also wise.” –Blanche “Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.” –Sophia.Rose: Can I ask a dumb question? Dorothy: Better than anyone I know."Tell me the truth: Do these glasses make me look stupid?" -Rose."It's like life is a giant weenie roast, and I'm the biggest weenie." -Rose.I keep worrying that I left my car windows down. ![]() Dorothy: Is it working? Rose: Not really.
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